The Hard Truth About Closure with Hannah Brencher
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Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!
Hannah Brencher is the author of Fighting Forward, a TED speaker, and the founder of The World Needs More Love Letters. Also… she was named as one of the White House’s “Women Working to Do Good.” Major! She shares the story of how she met her husband and some dating stories that will help you get creative. Plus, she helps us unpack some major questions to understand where we want to be in 5 years and how we can actually get there.
Get creative with online dating
We all want to have a rom-com meet cute, but we have to be open to the other possibilities.
“We become so attached to a Hollywood version of love and then we put spiritual language around it…”
We’re living in a hookup culture where people have forgotten what real dating looks like without ghosting.
Remove the pressure from dating: date just to learn how to date if you need to.
Finishing strong
“I don’t think all closure comes in the form of meeting up in a coffee shop and talking your feelings to death. If I’m always waiting on that other person to give me what I want... that’s not closure; that’s me still being on the hook. We can give ourselves closure and we should.”
Ask yourself why you’re looking for closure. Are you texting him hoping he’ll respond or because you actually will feel better having communicated it?
What do you want your life to look like 5 years from now?
Is there a chasm between what you say you want and how you are living?
“You built this life that you’re living right now. You’re not the victim in your life.”
Ask yourself:
What patterns and behaviors aren’t working for you?
How can you actively shift them to live differently?
Is the way you’re spending your time and resources reflecting your priorities?
Start small and find little ways to shift your priorities. When someone comes along, you’ll be prepared for that.
Resources
Keep up with Hannah at HannahBrencherCreative.com, on IG at @hannahbrencher, and on FB at @HannahBrencherSheats.
Buy Hannah’s book, Fighting Forward, on her website or on Amazon.
Check out Hannah’s episode of Meditative Story.
Check out the book we chat about: Start by John Acuff.
I recently launched a new resource on my shop! I get hundreds of questions every day over DMs asking for personal advice or coaching. It’s so hard to keep up with and I just can’t commit to answering all of them. But I know an hour long coaching call is a big financial commitment. So now you can ask a coaching question and get an audio message response from me! Go to therefinedwoman.com/shop to check it out.
I was tired of hearing male pastors preach about waiting until marriage for sex when they had gotten married in their early 20s and had no idea what it was really like to date in today’s culture! I wanted to hear from someone in my shoes— so I wrote a book! It’s called Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex and it’s coming out in April 2021! Head over to bit.ly/kat-sexless to pre-order now! AND email info@therefinedwoman.com with a copy of your receipt so I can make sure you get some surprise goodies.