Boss Ladies | Lorraine Bangera — The Refined Woman

Lorraine Ashrita Bangera launched Her Tribe Magazine in May 2017 as an online platform where people can collaborate and share their thoughts, stories and advice on life, faith, productivity, wellness, career, and culture. She lives in Melbourne with her husband Matt and has worked in publishing for the past five years. In addition to running Her Tribe, she works full time at a non-profit organisation as a content writer

As a child I dreamed of becoming—

Someone who worked at a magazine. I was obsessed with magazines. Writing and design has been at the core of all my interests for the longest time.

The last photo I took on my phone—

My husband, Matt, watching a pink sunset.

My guilty pleasure—

Binge watching TV shows. I think I’ve watched One Tree Hill over 15 times.

One thing people might be surprised to learn about me—

I'm an extremely silly person with my inner circle. I also love long conversations – which might be surprising because I tend to be very quiet most of the time.

My favorite way to unwind—

Reading a book or magazine on happiness, faith or mindfulness. Reading helps me calm down and be more present.

My real life hero is—

My parents are loving and faithful, my sister is an amazing soul, and my husband is strong and resilient. I also have so many friends and extended family who have taught me about courage, integrity, compassion, humility, grace, and having a good sense of humor about life. They are all my heroes.

What I love about my work—

I love everything about it! I love creating content in every way. I love coming up with new ideas, but I also enjoy designing and branding my ideas. Her Tribe gives me a structure for my creativity and I feel stronger as a creative because of it. I also love writing and interacting with like-minded people. Before Her Tribe I thought there were very few people who think like me, but I've been amazed at how many people I consider my tribe! I think I love that the most about my work.

The hardest thing about my work—

Learning to let go and not beat myself up if things are not perfect. I have control over the entire creative process, and can easily get carried away with overdoing it and not saying no. It's also challenging to be genuinely engaging on social media when there are so many fake accounts. However, it does make me very grateful to have readers who share their thoughts with me.

How I got started with my current career—

I work on Her Tribe on a part-time basis whereas my day job is as a content writer. I’ve always worked in publishing and have edited a lot of magazine titles over the years. When I was 19, I had a writing internship for six weeks and ended up writing just under 90 articles. My editor at the time was shocked about my enthusiasm and honestly, so was I! I had never seriously considered writing before that. It was like a neon sign for me, after that choosing a career was a piece of cake.

One of the biggest mistakes I made when I was starting out—

Letting what others say about me define who I am. When you're starting out you can be extremely impressionable and no matter how hard you try people can get in your head. Most of the time it's not malicious and could be a thoughtless passing remark, but if you hold on to all that they say you can't be who you are. The biggest mistake I made was trying to be someone else, but the truth is, being your true self is what opens the door to an amazing life.

I used to think success meant—

Having it all. I thought juggling a successful career, having a family and achieving all my dreams would make me successful. But as I'm growing up I'm realizing having it all is very subjective and keeps changing. “All” keeps growing bigger and bigger, and there is a big chance I will never be satisfied.

My current definition of success—

I've redefined success as growth as a human being, being at peace with who I am, and being present in my life. Not looking at the future or being bitter about the past, but being happy (more or less) and present. I would consider myself a success if I can (finally) manage my life and expectations with grace, and grow a little every day.

An example of when I had to push through my insecurities—

This happens every single day. Insecurity lurks at every corner, but I try not to let it take over. I just admit it to myself and others, admit I don't know or I’m not perfect and let people help me. Admitting it openly somehow removes the shame and defensiveness that comes with it. A good example would be in my marriage where there are times when I just have to be vulnerable and honest to get past whatever I am dealing with. Instead of ignoring it, dealing with it head-on has helped our relationship.

A few ways I practice self-care—

I try to give myself grace. I think you can't love yourself if you don't love others, and you can't love others if you don't love yourself. I try to do things that I love and rest when I have to. Lately I've been trying not to be ashamed about taking rest. I've discovered that it's important to rest when you still have energy and not just when you want to pass out from exhaustion.

My happiest moment in the past 6 months—

At the airport in Dubai, when I saw my family after nearly two years apart. It was the best moment and will probably be the best till I see them next.

I feel the most beautiful in my skin when—

I feel like I'm at peace with myself and not harboring resentment or bitterness against myself or anyone else.

I wish I could tell my younger self—

Believe in yourself, trust your instincts, and don’t worry so much. I was always very concerned about the future: my education, my career, my future partner. And it all turned out fine, better than fine, it turned out great actually.

A favorite quote—

“It's never too late to be what you might have been” - Mary Ann Evans

The legacy I hope to leave—

I hope I am remembered for how much I loved, encouraged and cherished the people I love the most.

XO,

Lorraine Bangera