The Refined Woman

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The Women Tell All: Should I Marry a Christian? with Carrie Lloyd and Kait Warman

Katherine Harris
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This week, you’re in for a real treat. I’m doing a 3-part podcast series with fellow podcasters + single gals: Carrie Lloyd + Kait Warman. Carrie is a pastor, author, and podcast host. Kait is a relationship coach, podcast host, and author. 


The three of us are doing a series where we’re talking about dating in today’s culture on an episode of each of our podcasts + all three episodes are live this week! 



Today on TRC we’re talking about… is it a sin to date a man who isn’t a Christian? What do we do with the reality that there are more women in the church than men?


“Is it possible that for different people God could be doing a different thing?” - Kat Harris


Where are all of the single Godly men?

  • There are way more women in the church than men. I remember years ago when a pastor of mine said that based on numbers alone, so many Christian women are never going to find a Christian man to marry.

  • Kait notes that men are asking women out, but they’re just asking the same women out over and over again.

  • Carrie shares how it may not be a matter of matching up men and women as we consider that the men in the church may also be exploring their sexuality. 

“I’m always looking for the fruit of the spirit in someone… not just that they say they love Jesus.” - Carrie Lloyd


Is it a sin to date/marry someone who is not Christian?

  • Carrie shares her experiences in dating Christian men as an atheist and then dating non-Christian men as a Christian. She notes that we need to have more grace and kindness in this area.

  • I wonder if we put different expectations on men and women. Women aren’t “allowed” to date a non-Christian but men are because they’re expected to be a spiritual leader.

  • Kait shares her perspective that there needs to be more nuance around the conversation than sin or not a sin. She also opens up about an experience where she dated a man who walked the Christian walk but behind closed doors was abusive.

  • Carrie shares how even if someone decides to marry a non-Christian, they have to be honest with themselves about whether or not they’re holding an expectation for their spouse to become a Christian after they’re married.

“I have dated lots of guys who have walked and talked the Christian talk but yet in their hearts, they’re not actually becoming like Jesus.” - Kait Warman


If you liked this episode:



Resources for Carrie:



Resources for Kait:



The countdown is ON for my book, Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex. It’s coming out in just over a month and you can still pre-order! It would mean so much to me if you did. Head over to sexlessinthecitybook.com to grab your copy! 


For $5/month, you can get access to exclusive video content for Patreon subscribers. Like… how to get over a breakup and what it’s really like to date as a person with a public platform. There will be a new video every week just for Patreon subscribers. Don’t miss out! Head over to Patreon.com/therefinedcollective to learn more and sign up!