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Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!

Are you experiencing a lot of anxiety recently?

Does it feel unsolvable?

Like your anxiety attack will like it will never end?

What if you had tools to help ease your anxiety in the moment?

As you know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month and we’re getting serious about mental health over here on The Refined Collective Podcast. Two weeks ago, I spoke with Trauma Therapist Kobe Campbell all about therapy (tune in here if you missed it). And last week, I shared my own experience with anxiety and practical ways to identify your anxiety triggers outside of the moment (tune in here if you missed it). This week, I wanted to share how you can stabilize your anxiety when you’re in the moment.

A Collective Anxiety

• Why are we experiencing so much anxiety? Collective depression + individual anxiety + trauma + relapses—from living in + through a pandemic — we’ve never done this before. 

• Brené Brown talks about FFT ‘It’s the F-ing first time’

  • Listen to her talk about it in this podcast episode.

  • The older we get, the less we like trying new things. Trying new things is vulnerable and we don’t want to suck! Normalizing discomfort is our secret sauce

1. Name it

• What’s coming up? THIS IS THE 1ST PANDEMIC!

1. Perspective 

• This is not going to last forever

1. Reality Check

• Nothing is going as planned and that’s okay

The Science of Anxiety

• Our thoughts activate our minds, then our minds activate the body, then our body activates fight or flight.

• Symptoms like: dizziness, head rush, tingling, heart palpitations, paranoia, hyper-vigilance, can’t breathe, legs feel like jelly

3 Parts of the Brain

1. NeoCortex/Prefrontal Cortex: rational, logic, problem-solving 

2. Limbic: emotions, feeling, memories

3. Reptilian/Primal: survival

• When we’re triggered, the Primal Brain gets activated and the other two shut down.

• In order to reactivate the others, you have to let the Primal Brain know you’re safe.

How do you speak to the Primal Brain to reactivate other two parts of our brain?

4 Things to Do In the Moment:

1. Pause

2. Breathe

• Mindful breathing

• DO IT NOW // 4 DEEP INHALES + EXHALES

  • This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, meaning you feel safe and your body stops pumping cortisol and adrenaline.

  • Quitting cigarette smoking is hard, in part, because it involves deep breathing.

• BOXED BREATHING (Navy SEALs use this!)

  • Try it now (4x)

1. Simple truths:

• I am safe and at home in my body

• I am here.

• I can breathe.

• I can feel discomfort and still be safe

1. Ground

• Fear removes us from the moment. Runaway train of thought. Worst case scenarios.

• Kate Eskuri spoke about grounding on the podcast last year.

  • “It’s that inner sense of calm even though the outside world might feel a little scattered.” - Kate Eskuri

  • Grounding Rituals

1. What are five things I can see? 

2. What are four things I can feel? 

3. What are three things I can hear? 

4. What are two things I can smell right now? 

5. What is one thing I can taste?

Resources

• Brené Brown podcast episode about FFT

• TRC Ep 090: Why Self-Care is More Crucial Now Than Ever Before

• My calming Spotify playlist

• Moving Through Fear Guide

• Jackie Viramontez meditation/EFT tapping

• TRC Ep 086: How Meditation Can Change Your Life

Stay tuned for next week’s episode, where I’ll lead a guided meditation!

It is finally HERE! My book, Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex is officially available online and in bookstores! If your copy arrives, make sure you post on social media and tag me! It makes my day to see it in your hands and I can’t wait for you to dive in.

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