Unpacking Toxic Masculinity with Mike Aidala
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I've been so excited to chat with Mike Aidala. Our schedules finally aligned and we got to chat about physical fitness, toxic masculinity, transformation, and fostering healthy dialogue. I'm so challenged by all of his words. What if life wasn't as hard as we made it out to be?
Focusing Inward
He decided after college that he would focus on strengthening his whole self and becoming the best version of Mike Aidala.
"I always knew that I had a real passion for helping people."
He notes that his Instagram feed is a combination of strength training videos and more emotional and spiritual movement videos, like yoga acrobatics.
"I really love emotion and diving into the why behind everything I do."
He enjoys athletics, but he is driven by the emotion behind all of the activities. The connection he feels to the movement.
"How can I better be completely engaged in this moment?"
Mike notes that lifting somebody into the air isn't all about strength, it's about developing trust and an emotional connection with whoever you are lifting.
Celebrating Wins
Sometimes we can get so caught up in the big picture that we forget to focus on the small everyday tasks and achievements that get us to where we want to be.
"That's a dangerous word: only."
We need to celebrate the wins more. We can see room for improvement everywhere, but we'll never feel accomplished if we don't see all we have achieved.
"When you fail, you're growing."
Instead of a typical gratitude journal, Mike likes to write down every day, "what went well and why."
On Fitness Goals…
"You don't really want to lose ten pounds, what you want is maybe your kids to like you, be engaged with your husband more, have better community with your friends. You think losing 10 pounds is going to get you those things. What we focus on is giving you confidence, showing you you're strong, building your self-esteem. Before you know it, you've probably lost the ten pounds anyway, but that isn't what you come back for, you come back because of the feeling you have."
Toxic Masculinity
We discuss toxic masculinity—something a lot of people love to talk about.
"Being masculine isn't toxic," he says. Masculinity can be toxic, but it isn't inherently toxic.
He recognizes that men do want to learn and be better in areas but being yelled at does not foster that change. We have to dive in to the hard conversations.
Mike wants people to be open with each other. Open to criticism, open to discussion.
Men and women can create better relationships with each other if they just communicate what they want.
We talk about the danger of using the word 'should.' "'I want you to do this' is a lot harder to say than 'you should do this.'"
He encourages men to reach out to the women in their life and ask how they can support them.
So, friends, what if you sought to understand the people in your life? What if you learned to listen? What if you practiced supporting others?
You can keep up with Mika at @mike.aidala on Instagram and his website at mikeaidala.com where you can find his training programs.
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XO,
Kat Harris
