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Demetria Stallings is the founder of Letters of the Heart, a nonprofit ministry with the mission of empowering individuals to understand their true identity and purpose. She is also a speaker, worship leader, artist, and purpose coach! We talk about how to identify if you’re stuck in the trauma of your past, how to begin the process of looking inward, and practical steps you can take right now so that your past doesn’t haunt you.

“Any journey starts by looking inward.” - Kat

The past will haunt you

• “I have many times over recreated the pain of my past because I wasn’t willing to look at it.” - Kat

• Demetria shares her experience of going through divorce 12 years ago and how it enabled fear to creep its way into her dating life.

• “These patterns started happening when I would meet certain guys… it would be in this cycle of me not feeling worthy and so because I wasn’t worthy, I constantly was okay with behaviors that were not good for me.” - Demetria

How to identify if you’re stuck in the trauma of your past

1. ALWAYS/NEVER statements.

2. A Refusal to look inward.

3. You spot it you got it.

4. When the crime doesn’t fit the punishment.

“Make a choice. Just decide. What it's gonna be, who you're gonna be, how you're gonna do it. Just decide.” - Will Smith

How to begin the process of looking inward

• Get curious.

• Notice.

• Invest. 

• Be intentional.

• Get support.

• Go to God. Sit in stillness.

Practical steps you can take right now

• Week: Decide what is going to change in your life.

• Month: Put steps in place to move forward. Have a friend who will hold you accountable.

• Year: Set a goal and establish a celebration.

“You have the strength to say yes. There is courage inside of you. You are not a cat. You are a lioness.” - Demetria

Resources

• Keep up with Demetria at DemetriaStallings.com and on IG at @demetria.stallings.

• Check out Demetria’s nonprofit Letters of the Heart.

• Check out Demetria’s music on Apple Music and Spotify.

• Check out Demetria’s new course, Living a Prophetic Life.

• Sign up for coaching with Demetria here.

Did you know I’m releasing a book this April? It’s called Sexless in the City. I truly believe it will encourage and equip you to navigate faith, desire, intimacy, and relationships free from shame and fear and with a holistic and Biblical vision. I would be so grateful if you snagged a copy. You can pre-order it right now anywhere you buy books. When you pre-order, make sure you email social@therefinedwoman.com because I would love to send you some free goodies and resources as a thank you.

I really value the Patreon community that helps keep this podcast a possibility for me. So in addition to the other rewards, I started filming weekly videos exclusively for my supporters on Patreon. It’s basically like we’re just sitting on the couch having some real talk. I feel comfortable sharing more intimate details of my life over there since it’s a smaller community. So head over to Patreon.com/therefinedcollective to get access to videos like “Doubting My Faith,” “My Fertility Journey,” “New Home Tour,” and so much more.