The Refined Woman

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Why Being a 'Good Person' Prevents You From Being Better

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“I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.” – Tracee Ellis Ross

Jeana Marinelli is my guest this week and we are talking about racism, bias, white privilege, how to develop a growth mindset, and identifying the myth of the ‘good person’ and how it is keeping us stuck. Jeana is a leadership development professional. Jeana is always asking the important questions of ‘why are things the way they are?’ and ‘how can we be better?’

The Myth of the ‘Good Person’

  • “We’ve made racism seem so evil that it can’t possibly be in any of us, when the reality is it’s in all of us. And that’s where the growth begins.”

  • We chat about how to confront racism within ourselves and understand our blind spots.

  • The growth mindset involves acknowledging that you aren’t a good person but that you are always in the process of bettering yourself.

  • “Looking back, I can see how many blind spots I had as a young, white, 22-year-old.”

7 Ways to Foster a Growth Mindset

  1. Look at all the media you consume and look for ways to diversify, especially when it comes to race and gender.

  2. Take ownership to learn more about biases and topics that make you most uncomfortable.

  3. Notice your physical queues where your discomfort comes.

  4. Practice deep listening— listening to understand and not to respond.

  5. Thank anyone who points out inequities without seeking a cookie.

  6. Get better at noticing your own mistakes.

  7. Learning to pronounce someone’s name.

Books to Read

Resources

Did you know we have a Patreon page? Patreon is a platform that lets listeners financially support their favorite podcasts for as little as $5/mo. (That’s cheaper than a cup of NYC coffee y’all!) Head over to Patreon.com/therefinedcollective to see how you can support the podcast (and get some pretty awesome goodies as a thank you)! Another way you can support the podcast is by sharing with friends! Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat with your besties: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-refined-collective-podcast/id1348034641#episodeGuid=30c48f6a66bb4bfca88b0f6522037407

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XO,

Kat