The Refined Woman

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What Does the Bible Really Say About Sex: Part I

Katherine Harris
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Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!


Warning: This episode covers a sensitive topic. I want to give you the opportunity to pause and listen when you are alone or use some headphones if you’re around delicate ears.


What does the Bible really say about sex?

Is there a difference between sexual desire and desire for sex?

How do I embrace my sexuality?

What if I never meet someone?


My journey has been imperfect, but the stumbles led me to where I am today. In this episode, I share my own stumbles in waiting for marriage, including the relationships that made me really question my decision to wait for marriage. If you want to hear more of that journey, check out My Breaking Point, an episode of the podcast where I read an excerpt from my book, Sexless in the City. After that breaking point, I decided to make my faith my own and find out why I believed what I believed. Here is Part I of what I discovered. (Part II coming next week.)


Where + When does the Bible talk about Sex?

  • The phrases “sexual immorality” or “fornification” popped up a lot in the New Testament and were always accompanied by the word “flee.” 

  • In 1 Corinthians 6:18, Paul tells the church to flee from porneia.

  • In 1 Corinthians 7:1–2 Paul encourages the Corinth church to get married in order to avoid the temptation of porneia. This set of verses is often used during biblical teaching on abstinence. 

    • Porneia: blanket word that encapsulated a lot of different things: pedophilia, beastiality, adultery…in essence it’s this bundled term for any sexual activity outside of marriage.

    • I can trust that if there is an invitation to flee from something it’s not because God hates sex or sexual activity…it’s because God has a more grand vision for whatever the thing is…


“Make a decision that is not rooted in ‘should’ or external expectation or shame, but one that is connected to abundance, wholeness, and freedom.” - Kat Harris


What Exactly is Sex?

  • How do you define sex?

  • Where did you come up with said definition?

  • Is sex one act? Or a pool of experiences?

  • What if you identify as LGBTQ+? Are the only people who can lose their virginity those who experience heterosexual attraction?

  • What if your partner is experiencing impotence?

  • What if you’re one of the 75% of females who only experience climax/orgasm through external stimulation?

  • Does your definition of sex expand when you consider these questions?


“I didn’t want to redefine sex because if I did, I might not be a virgin anymore.” - Kat Harris


Next episode, I’ll unpack what I found in the Old Testament about God and sex. But for now...


Reflection Questions

  • Have you felt as a person of faith that your virginity is tied to your standing with God?

  • How would you define sex?

  • Why would you define it that way?

  • Where did you come up with said definition?

  • What stood out to you today?

  • Pool of experiences vs. vertical race to a misguided goal.

  • Sit with it. Process. Talk with your friends about it.


Resources



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