Sex Ed 101: Vibrators, Positions + Oral… OH MY! with Dr. Celeste Holbrook
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Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for producing this podcast!!
Our favorite sexologist, Dr. Celeste Holbrook, is back on the podcast to give you some more sex education! As many of you know, I spent a lot of time coming to terms with the shame I felt around my sexual desire. Since I grew up in purity culture, I didn’t receive a proper sex education. And because I didn’t get a proper sex education, I found myself in some uncomfortable situations because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Knowledge helps you develop a muscle of consent and the language to communicate your boundaries. So if you can relate, this episode will help fill in some of the many gaps in your sex education.
What is the definition of sex?
I discuss this for a full chapter in my book, which you can grab here.
I used to view it only as penis in vagina penetrative sex. Then I read Peggy Orenstein’s book about sex being more of a pool of experiences.
The bottom line: you get to define what sex is for you.
My best friend and I talk about our different definitions on this podcast episode.
Is it easier for guys to come?
Penis owners are allowed/encouraged to masturbate at a younger age and because of this, they know how to achieve an orgasm better.
Vulva owners are shamed/discouraged when it comes to masturbation and so there’s a gap in knowledge of how to achieve an orgasm/knowing what you like.
Read Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are to learn more about brakes/accelerators.
What are good vibrators for newbies?
Kat recommends the Eva from Dame Products, which you can grab here.
Dr. Celeste recommends vibrators from Velvet Box. She recommends starting with a clitoral vibrator— so it is only used externally.
How do I even go about learning sex and becoming good at it?
It’s an unending learning process, but start with what feels accessible to you.
Join an educational place like OMG Yes.
Sex Positive Families has resources about sex as well.
What positions are better for vulva owners?
5 typical positions for heterosexual sex: missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy style, and 69. (Sideline position is also fairly common.)
What advice would you give couples who have different levels of sexual experience?
Ask yourself individually and as a couple, what are you looking for?
Communicate your expectations and desires.
How can you make sex fun after having kids?
“Eroticism is really like a healthy sense of irresponsibility because creativity is a bit irresponsible. You have to take risks. You have to be vulnerable. You have to take chances.” - Dr. Celeste Holbrook
Dr. Celeste is a big advocate for not scheduling sex, but prioritizing it in your week rather than fitting it in a margin in your week that sometimes doesn’t exist.
What to expect from oral sex?
Dr. Celeste advises removing the pressure from the wedding night because you’ll be exhausted and stressed. Go slow. Talk about your nervousness with your partner.
Make sure you sign up for our Sex Ed Workshop Series for more sex education! You can register here. Next week on the podcast, I’m talking with Shauna Niequist. Make sure you’re subscribed on iTunes, so it goes right to your devices!
Resources
Listen to Dr. Celeste on episode 161 of TRC here for more about purity culture.
Listen to Dr. Celeste on episode 168 of TRC here for more sex ed.
Listen to the Is Masturbation A Sin? series here.
Listen to Jaiya and Ian Ferguson on the podcast here.
Register for the Sex Ed Workshop Series here.
Buy Kat’s book, where she talks about her definition of sex, here.
Join Patreon at the $5/month level to get access to monthly group coaching calls.
Check out Rockefeller Center on IG at @rockefellercenter and Twitter at @rockcenternyc
Spending hours trying to find the right doctor for you can be exhausting. And if you go through that process only to find out they don’t take your insurance? That almost makes me wanna give up the search. ZocDoc makes it easy to find the right doctor who takes your insurance. You can even make the appointment online! Go to ZocDoc.com/Kat to download the app for free and start your search today!