The Refined Woman

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Navigating Physical Boundaries While You’re Deconstructing with Alessandra Conti

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So your whole life you were taught to save sex until marriage from the church. You were taught it was ‘God’s best.’ But now you’re in a massive season of deconstruction. Your faith still matters to you, but it looks nothing like it used to anymore.

Who + how do you date during this season?

And what about your physical boundaries?

What if you don’t know if you want to wait until marriage anymore? 

Well…today on the podcast alongside celebrity matchmaker Alessandra Conti, we go straight towards these questions. Conti is the co-founder of Matchmakers In The City, an old-school, personal matchmaking firm headquartered in Beverly Hills. Let’s dive into what she has to share!

The Avocado Theory

  • Avocados are not ready, not ready, not ready, not ready, READY! Men are the same way. 



3 Long-term relationship deal-breakers

  1. Do you both want to be married?

  2. Do you both want to have kids?

  3. Is religion compatible?



How long should you wait until you become exclusive?

  • It’s a good rule to wait for 3 months before being exclusive. The only thing that will tell you if you’ve found a good match is TIME. You’re looking for consistent character.

  • “Men that are great at the courting phase are usually not great at relationships.” - Alessandra Conti

Is dating a numbers game?

  • I’ve been going on loads of dates recently and I talked with Alessandra about the problem with going on too many dates.

  • “It can be paralyzing if you do it in that way.” - Alessandra Conti



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