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I’m really nervous for you to listen to this episode. This week, I’m sharing my story of how and why I kinda accidentally left the church during the pandemic, and why I haven’t chosen to go back. I share with you what I have learned and am learning from my separation from the church, why I believe God is really with me in this place, the 3 main reasons I’m not a part of the church right now, and what church and community is actually looking like for me these days.

Pre-pandemic: I still love the church, but I need a minute

• I have been going to church every week ever since I was 10 years old. And after I turned 16, I also did youth groups, ministries, and volunteering. My life has revolved around church for more than half my life.

When you can’t unsee the problems:

• Race–why was and is so much of the American church slow to acknowledge racism and white supremacy? Why are Christians so slow to support the BLM movement?

• Gender: why are women continuously treated as less than + given less opportunity than men in the church? 

• Sexuality: If Jesus loves all people without an agenda, how + why is the church not a safe place for the LGBTQ+ community?

• Virginity: when did the gospel  become: Jesus + Virginity = salvation?

Where do I go from here?

• I miss church, I miss my community, but I don’t really know where I fit into all of this.

• I got together with a friend to blast worship music and pray together. We’ve been doing it every week and now there are 4 of us.

• I had a really hard morning and my friends supported me in such a beautiful way, I got emotional talking about it.

Next week on the podcast, I’m doing another Ask Kat episode (but you might hear your recorded audio message on air!)…go to Patreon.com/therefinedcollective and you can listen to it now (ad-free) and have access to a ton of other Patreon exclusive content.

Special shoutout and thank you to some of our new Patreon members: Joshua C, Eric P, Kara M, Suzanna J, Anna T, Grace W, Kelly E, Kaylee M, Heidi F, Jennifer M, Bitia B, Rachel L, Christen L, Chelsea D, and Rachel.

Resources

• Listen to ​​TRC: Why Pro-Birth Is Not Enough.

• Listen to TRC: Why Black Lives Matter.

• Watch on Patreon: Why I Left the Church to Find God.

• Check out Matthew Vines's YouTube here.

• Read Jackie Hill Perry's book, Gay Girl, Good God here.

• Read Julie Rodgers's book, Outlove: A Queer Christian Survival Story here.

• Watch Mike Maeshiro's coming out testimony here.

• Listen to next week’s episode early (and ad-free) here.

• Join Patreon at the $5/month level to get access to monthly group coaching calls. 

• Check out Rockefeller Center on IG at @rockefellercenter and Twitter at @rockcenternyc

If your partner walked into your life today, would you be ready? A few years ago, my friend Stephanie May Wilson created a quiz to help navigate this. It’s called Are You Ready To Meet Your Person? Download it for free at StephanieMayWilson.com/kat.

If you’re in my Patreon community, you know that I recently tested my fertility. It’s time to take ownership of your fertility so you know your options for the future! Modern Fertility makes it easy to test your hormone levels at home. Modern Fertility is offering $20 off your test when you go to ModernFertility.com/refined.

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