The Refined Woman

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Leaving the Church to Find Jesus

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Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for producing this podcast!!

I’m really nervous for you to listen to this episode. This week, I’m sharing my story of how and why I kinda accidentally left the church during the pandemic, and why I haven’t chosen to go back. I share with you what I have learned and am learning from my separation from the church, why I believe God is really with me in this place, the 3 main reasons I’m not a part of the church right now, and what church and community is actually looking like for me these days.

Pre-pandemic: I still love the church, but I need a minute

  • I have been going to church every week ever since I was 10 years old. And after I turned 16, I also did youth groups, ministries, and volunteering. My life has revolved around church for more than half my life.

When you can’t unsee the problems:

  • Race–why was and is so much of the American church slow to acknowledge racism and white supremacy? Why are Christians so slow to support the BLM movement?

  • Gender: why are women continuously treated as less than + given less opportunity than men in the church? 

  • Sexuality: If Jesus loves all people without an agenda, how + why is the church not a safe place for the LGBTQ+ community?

  • Virginity: when did the gospel  become: Jesus + Virginity = salvation?

Where do I go from here?

  • I miss church, I miss my community, but I don’t really know where I fit into all of this.

  • I got together with a friend to blast worship music and pray together. We’ve been doing it every week and now there are 4 of us.

  • I had a really hard morning and my friends supported me in such a beautiful way, I got emotional talking about it.


Next week on the podcast, I’m doing another Ask Kat episode (but you might hear your recorded audio message on air!)…go to Patreon.com/therefinedcollective and you can listen to it now (ad-free) and have access to a ton of other Patreon exclusive content.

Special shoutout and thank you to some of our new Patreon members: Joshua C, Eric P, Kara M, Suzanna J, Anna T, Grace W, Kelly E, Kaylee M, Heidi F, Jennifer M, Bitia B, Rachel L, Christen L, Chelsea D, and Rachel.

Resources


If your partner walked into your life today, would you be ready? A few years ago, my friend Stephanie May Wilson created a quiz to help navigate this. It’s called Are You Ready To Meet Your Person? Download it for free at StephanieMayWilson.com/kat.

If you’re in my Patreon community, you know that I recently tested my fertility. It’s time to take ownership of your fertility so you know your options for the future! Modern Fertility makes it easy to test your hormone levels at home. Modern Fertility is offering $20 off your test when you go to ModernFertility.com/refined.

Spending hours trying to find the right doctor for you can be exhausting. And if you go through that process only to find out they don’t take your insurance? That almost makes me wanna give up the search. ZocDoc makes it easy to find the right doctor who takes your insurance. You can even make the appointment online! Go to ZocDoc.com/Kat to download the app for free and start your search today!