How to Plan for Marriage Not Just a Wedding With Natasha Miller
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This week on the podcast, I'm chatting with Natasha Miller. She is a daughter of God, wife to Jamal Miller, and mother of Harvest Ann and Melodie Grace. She is also the co-founder of Miller Media Group, a company dedicated to raising up brands and publications that reflect God's voice. She also founded Fearless Women Mentorship, where she helps women to recognize their inner beauty and warrior. This episode, we're chatting about singleness, relationships, unexpected challenges of marriage, and how to plan for marriage and not the wedding day. You've heard her husband, Jamal, describe the way they met and fell in love on his episode of The Dudes Series, but now you get to hear her side of the same story!
How They Met
They met on Facebook y'all!
After a few YEARS, Jamal got bold and told her that he was interested in her.
"He wasn't a man who was living on an island by himself. He was a man who was committed and a man who was open to hearing other voices in his life. It brought me a lot of comfort knowing that I wasn't a secret."
Natasha was in SoCal and Jamal was in Chicago, so they started by having phone dates.
"From the moment I heard his voice, I knew he was a man who knew what he wanted."
They spoke every day and met for the first time in Chicago at a conference. Jamal was her first relationship and kiss—now they are celebrating 6 years of marriage.
"This decision was not just for my present, but it was for my future. Right now, this is a gift that the Lord is giving me."
The Unexpected Challenges of Marriage
Once life really started to happen and they moved into an apartment and she didn't have a job, she felt afraid. All these fears started coming up for her.
"I had this romantic idea of what a marriage should look like."
One month in, she started feeling sadness and depression. She was constantly comparing herself to Jamal, who was thriving.
She was in the mentality that she needed to be who her husband needed her to be and who everyone around her needed her to be.
In conflict, they were repeating what their parents did. This continued 3.5 years into marriage after they had their kids. They hit a breaking point where their communication was not working.
"I didn't know how to communicate what I was feeling because I was afraid of being rejected."
Finding The Breakthrough
Their breakthrough wasn't overnight; healing in their marriage took time and years of leaning in.
Now, Natasha and Jamal are working on their business Married and Young, which they started one year into their marriage.
"We want to make marriage popular. We want people to desire it again."
How to Invest Into Your Marriage
Invest in your personal development and heal from your past. You need to forgive yourself and address past pain and hurt. Don't be afraid to dig deep.
"Before you can extend grace to others you have to learn how to extend it to yourself."
Realize that when you are putting in the work that it is not just for you, it is for God. You need to have a bigger why.
"You can forgive and still love. You can be hurt and still grow."
Truly take the time to know who you are. Discover your purpose.
"There's a difference between communicating and being vulnerable."
For the single ladies: you can practice this vulnerability with your family and friends because if you can't practice it there, you won't be able to practice it in marriage. Being able to practice it in your marriage will help sustain it during the difficult times.
"When you allow God to change you from the inside out, that's when you're able to truly love someone who is unlovable."
How incredible is Natasha?! I know y'all want to connect with her so follow her at @natashaannmiller and on Facebook at Natasha Ann Miller. If you're interested in seeing Married and Young's resources or joining their email list, head over to MarriedAndYoung.com.
If you are enjoying the podcast, I want to invite you to leave a rating and review on iTunes! We love hearing what your favorite episodes are and always welcome any general feedback! It also helps us be more visible in the iTunes world. If you want to leave a review but don't know how, head over to @therefinedcollective on Instagram and find the "Review 101" under story highlights.
Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This episode is brought to you by my free guide called "6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity." These resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdatingtips to check it out! With you on the journey.
XO,
Kat