The Refined Woman

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How to Own Your Voice: A Conversation on Consent

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TRIGGER WARNING: We share some stories of trauma we have experienced in the past. This may not be a good episode to listen to with kiddos around. Know that if you have experiences trauma, you are not alone!

Tiffany Bluhm is the author of She Dreams and Never Alone; she also hosts the podcast “Why Tho” with Ashley Abercrombie (who was also on the podcast— check out her episode here.) Today, we are chatting about consent, whether it’s in the boardroom or the bedroom. We talk about the more nuanced topics like what messages clothing sends and are non-verbal cues enough?

Power Dynamics + Consent

  • What is consent? Vocalized agreement for something to happen between both parties, whether it is harmful or not. Consent involves concern and care also.

  • There has historically been an abuse of power when it comes to consent.

4 Questions to Ask Yourself in an Uncomfortable Situation

  • Is this okay?

  • How can I be an active participant in this situation?

  • What do I do to prevent this from happening?

  • What is my role as a bystander, as a friend, to anyone else it’s happening to?

6 Ways to Own Your Voice

  • Know your response to trauma: fight, flight, or freeze.

  • Find ways to create boundaries with the person creating discomfort/trauma.

  • Let go of the fear of seeming disagreeable.

  • Don’t let the little things slide— those inches quickly turn into miles.

  • Reporting behavior is hard and scary, but it is worth it and we owe it to ourselves.

  • Document the situation in any way you can— even by taking a picture.

Resources

Did you know we have a Patreon page? Patreon is a platform that lets listeners financially support their favorite podcasts for as little as $5/mo. (That’s cheaper than a cup of NYC coffee y’all!) Head over to Patreon.com/therefinedcollective to see how you can support the podcast (and get some pretty awesome goodies as a thank you)! Another way you can support the podcast is by sharing with friends! Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat with your besties: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-refined-collective-podcast/id1348034641#episodeGuid=30c48f6a66bb4bfca88b0f6522037407

Single ladies— do you feel stuck, lonely, discouraged or frustrated by your dating life, or lack thereof? This is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources propelled me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdating to check it out!

XO,

Kat

Check out this episode!