The Refined Woman

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How to Invest Into Your Marriage (When You’re Single)

Katherine Harris
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This week, I’m chatting with Jeremy and Adrienne Camp. Jeremy and Adrienne are singers and songwriters who met while on tour. Jeremy is GRAMMY-nominated and Adrienne was the lead singer of the Christian rock band the Benjamin Gate and later recorded two solo albums. The two have been married for 17 years have 2 daughters and a son. Their movie I Still Believe was released in March— it’s about Jeremy’s marriage with his first wife Melissa. Jeremy and Adrienne just released their book In Unison. 

I drilled them, y’all. We talked about their story, getting stuck in the friend zone, and if sexual attraction can grow between people who start out as friends. Plus, in 17 years of marriage—how do you fight well? And how can we set ourselves up for our future today? 

Marriage

  • They recall not seeing each other as their types when they first met.

  • We talk about whether sexual attraction can grow or if it has to be there from the start.

  • “There needs to be a relationship of depth and honor and respect there in order for me to love him with my body.”

  • Fighting well: she needs to figure it out right away and he needs time to step back and process. “We had to learn those places of grace for each other along the way.”

6 Ways to Sow Into Your Marriage

1. Stay connected to Jesus.

  • “If things are dry in my relationship with the Lord, essentially they are dry everywhere else.”

  • Adrienne prays: “Jesus, be new to me!”

2. Choose to have a soft heart towards each other. It’s a choice.

3. Be intentional about dating.

4. Find things you both love and do them together.

5. Create space for heart connection.

  • Connect not just physically, but on a heart level.

  • How is your heart?

  • How are we doing?

  • Are there things I’ve done that have frustrated you?

  • What can we work on?

6. Be willing to do the work!!!

  • “We look ahead and we want the harvest, but we’re not willing to do the hard work today.”

How to Invest Into Your Marriage (When You’re Single)

  • Learn to deal with conflict in your friendships.

  • Deal with your own issues. Be willing to do the work.

  • Seek God. “When we’re seeking Him to find a reward, we’re not going to find that. He’s already given us the greatest reward.”

Resources

  • Watch the movie I Still Believe here.

  • Listen to the movie’s soundtrack here.

  • You can buy Jeremy and Adrienne’s book, In Unison, here.

  • You can buy Jeremy’s book, I Still Believe, here.

  • You can buy Adrienne's book, Even Me, here.

  • Keep up with them at @adiecamp and @jeremycampofficial on Instagram.

  • Check out their work with Speaking Louder here.

Did you know we have a Patreon page? Patreon is a platform that lets listeners financially support their favorite podcasts for as little as $5/mo. (That’s cheaper than a cup of NYC coffee y’all!) Head over to Patreon.com/therefinedcollective to see how you can support the podcast (and get some pretty awesome goodies as a thank you)! Another way you can support the podcast is by sharing with friends! Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat with your besties: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-refined-collective-podcast/id1348034641#episodeGuid=30c48f6a66bb4bfca88b0f6522037407

Single ladies— do you feel stuck, lonely, discouraged or frustrated by your dating life, or lack thereof? This is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources propelled me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdating to check it out! 

XO,

Kat