The Refined Woman

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He Said/She Said: Submission with Manwell Reyes

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LISTEN TO EP 192: ITUNES // SPOTIFY // STITCHER

Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for producing this podcast!!

In episode 170 of TRC, Manwell Reyes said “I love strong women but they come with a lot of pride and you’re gonna have to argue them into submission.”  To say I was uncomfortable with that comment is a wild understatement. We didn't have time to unpack it during that episode, so I brought Manwell back to talk about it in full context. We take a deep dive into the history of the word submission, why it’s important to acknowledge the problem before moving forward, and how we can move forward in a way that embraces the beauty of submission.

 

History of “Submission”

  • What comes to mind for you when you think of the word submission?

  • How has this word been used positively + negatively in your life?

  • Do you think there is any relevance to the idea of submission in 2022?

 

Acknowledging the Problem

  • Before we can even think about moving forward we have to acknowledge the pain + oppression of the past. Trauma doesn’t just disappear.

  • “We have to acknowledge that there’s been so much hurt and damage.” - Kat Harris

  • Manwell talks about how it’s a fool’s errand to expect men to acknowledge the pain. How can we move forward without that?

  • “I will never use the word submission demanding it from someone else. I will only use it as an internal precursor of how I can serve someone else.” - Manwell Reyes

When you’re stuck in a loop of pain, how can we begin to move towards healing?

  1. Identify the trigger.

  2. Define what it will take for you to get over the trigger.

  3. Clarify where you want to go + who you are committed to being.




Next week on the podcast, I’m talking with Dr. Celeste Holbrook about rethinking sex education.




Resources

  • Listen to He Said/She Said: Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? here.

  • Listen to He Said/She Said: Sex/Life here.

  • Listen to He Said/She Said: Double Standards here.

  • Check out Manwell’s podcast, Nights at the Round Table, here.

  • Listen to the NATRT about Corporate Church here.

  • Listen to next week’s episode early (and ad-free) here.

  • Join Patreon at the $5/month level to get access to monthly group coaching calls

  • Check out Rockefeller Center on IG at @rockefellercenter and Twitter at @rockcenternyc





Growing up, I was given abstinence only sex ed. Because I lacked knowledge, I found myself in situations I didn’t want to be in and didn’t know how to handle. Dr. Celeste Holbrook and I are hosting a 3-week Sex Ed Workshop starting April 19th. We’ll cover everything from anatomy, pleasure, mechanics, what to expect, how to navigate consent, theology, self-pleasure, and SO much more. Go to bit.ly/trcsexed to register!



If you’re in my Patreon community, you know that I recently tested my fertility. It’s time to take ownership of your fertility so you know your options for the future! Modern Fertility makes it easy to test your hormone levels at home. Modern Fertility is offering $20 off your test when you go to ModernFertility.com/refined.



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