The Refined Woman

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Going Scared: A Conversation with Jessica Honegger

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"She was powerful. Not because she wasn't scared, but because she went on so strongly despite the fear."-Atticus

Pause and let that sink in. This episode, I am talking with Jessica Honegger, author of Imperfect Courage, the Going Scared Podcast, and the founder of Noon Day Collection. We'll be talking about fear -- something Jessica is well acquainted with.

Put In the Effort

  • "Stop saying 'it's hard'. Start saying 'it requires effort.'"

  • Noonday started off as a side gig to raise funds to adopt their son. She was making handmade jewelry and before she knew it, she was running a business.

  • "I'm waiting for this point of arrival where things are going to feel effortless, I guess."

  • When you say something is hard, it puts you in a place of wishing for the past and simplicity instead of leading you forward.

  • Coming back from vacation, she was on the home stretch of her book release, but she shifted her mindset away from the dread and toward the excitement by reminding herself that she chose this path.

Using Your Voice

  • We talk about how changing your language is the key to changing your mindset.

  • You are not a victim of your circumstances. You have a say in how your life pans out.

  • It's key to personally find your own limiting beliefs, but also vocalize them with someone.

  • She talks about her experience comparing herself to someone else in her area of work.

  • "This is basically jealousy and that's not living my best life."

  • We talk about how bringing dark to light gives less power to the shame. (You can read more about this in her book!)

  • Jessica acknowledges that it is completely normal to feel shame, so we can't be afraid of bringing it to light.

Long Term Relationship With Fear

  • "There are times when fear has been in the driver seat of my life."

  • She recalls the moment she started getting serious about her business when somebody else wanted to put everything they had into helping her business.

  • She was afraid that the success would be hard and having other people depend on her would be scary. "Success leads to responsibility and accountability."

  • She notes that it's possible to fear success and failure at the same time.

  • "I thought 'I better wait until I'm not afraid.' The life of fearlessness is a sham."

  • She shares that there is no such thing as getting around fear, the only way to approach it is to move through it.

"Fear isn't in the driver seat of my life. It's at the back of a really long limo."

  • When you move through the fear, you make room for more connection with others in your life.

When What You Fear Happens

  • We talk about the fact that sometimes what we fear does happen! And that is not the end of the world.

  • The key is to not be afraid of letting it be our defining factor.

"We need to identify where we are identifying value and worth from."

  • Take risks and don't tie your identity to the outcome.

  • Take a step back, and find the source of these fears and tell them,"you are disinvited from my party, you are no longer welcome."

Embracing the 'And'

  • You can have fear and have courage, work hard and rest hard.

  • Too often we get caught up in the absolute and think we can only be one thing or the other.

  • "You have an idealized version of yourself in your mind."

  • We will never have a life fully free of fear, free of jealousy, free of unhappiness, free of stress.

  • Fear of not being enough will keep you locked up from all the happiness and success that awaits you.

  • "We're afraid if we're going to stop being frantic we're going to feel all of our feelings."

We've only just scratched the surface, friends. To hear more about Jessica's thoughts on this topic, you can read her new book! If you order her book today, it will get to you on August 14th. Get ordering!

This episode is brought to you by the free PDF guide called "Moving Through Fear." It is full of resources that I hope will help guide you through rejecting the lies in your life and finding the truth.

XO,

Kat

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