The Refined Woman

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Failure, Vulnerability, and People with Chinae Alexander

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And we’re back! In this episode, I am talking with the wonderful Chinae Alexander. She’s a Brooklyn-based entrepreneur, lifestyle personality, writer, speaker, wellness expert, and YouTuber who is currently in the process of writing a book and creating a podcast. Chinae opens up about failure, vulnerability, and self-love in this episode and I cannot wait for you to hear what she has to say.

People as Motivation

  • Chinae grew up an only child and moved often. As a result, she learned how to have real conversations with adults and confidently step into a room where she knows nobody.

  • As an adult, she is fascinated by others’ stories and passionate about telling those stories, establishing empathy, and working things out together.

  • “People tell me things and want to talk to me about their lives and they want to listen about my life and we get to share this stuff in a world that so greatly wants us to push each other away.”

The Power of Vulnerability

  • Chinae encourages everyone to realize that from vulnerability comes strength.

    “Exchanging stories in this world is a powerful thing.”

  • We talk about the #MeToo campaign, something Chinae inspired me to use my voice in. It’s important to share your stories no matter how insignificant they may seem to you. People need to know they aren’t alone.

  • “This feels hard, but it’s the necessary difficulty to thrive.”

  • Chinae shares a slash & burn analogy with me as we talk about how sometimes you need to experience destruction in order to regrow.

Self-Love Over Body Positivity

  • Chinae was overweight throughout college and held so much confidence during that time. Out of an appreciation for herself, she got into fitness. However, once she got into the best shape she had ever been in, she felt that confidence leave her. “I don’t need to gain the weight back, but I need to get the mindset back.”

  • She expresses that 24/7 body positivity just isn’t realistic. We should instead strive for self love, and we show ourselves some grace in the moments we aren’t feeling positive. “It doesn’t make you a failure if you aren’t positive about your body all the time.”

“If you failed, it means you tried something. People can perhaps lead a life of no failure but it’s going to be a really small life. “

Allow for Failure

  • Chinae reminds us that good things come from failure, noting that everything considered a “failure” in her life has led to a success. “Our failures aren’t failing; they’re a part of our story.”

  • Though failure is good, and Chinae even gets excited about the idea of it, not everybody opens up their life to the possibility of it. “People have a very small vision of where they’re going and they have no idea the perspective outside of that.”

Chinae’s Favorite Things

Chinae leads as a person through encouraging people to live their lives, use their voices, tell their stories, and foster understanding. I’ll leave you with some advice she would share with her younger self: “Consistently press into being good” and “Your plan is not yours.”

How can you lean into the possibility of failure and lean into those vulnerable moments in your own lives?

Thanks for listening, tribe. This episode was sponsored by Branch Basics, a brand created by women with the goal of revolutionizing the home with non-toxic cleaning products. These products bring simplicity and functionality into your life and I’m all about that. They gave me a special code to share with you for 20% off your first order: (refinedcollective). Thanks, Branch Basics!

Check out this episode!

XO,

Kat